The Council of Elrond, Revisited
by ZenZen
Summary: Revisiting the Council, my style (that sounded so corny...). Elrond is a superficial twat, as is all other members of the Council. Ah well.


The minutes of the Council of Elrond held by Elrond in Rivendell. Time and date uncertain, as Middle Earth has not yet taken up on the use of calendars or any other time telling device.  
  
**Opening**: representatives of Men, Elves, Dwarves, Wizards, Hobbits and other creatures of Middle Earth were all gathered in Elrond's back garden discussing the issue of the one Ring, which was, recently discovered and established as the 'source of all Evil'.  
  
**Apologies**: Saruman the White apologised for not being at the meeting, before remembering that he is now evil and working for Sauron, and attempted to take this apology back; Legolas Greenleaf apologised for being late, as he was washing his hair.  
  
**Minutes**: the minutes of the previous meeting 2,857 years ago was moved and seconded that they are the accurate record of that meeting, even though no one could quite remember what really happened.  
  
**Correspondence**:   
The inward correspondence consisted of:  
A letter from Saruman threatening to kill every member of the Council, because Gandalf had just escaped from the Palantir last week.  
The outward correspondence consisted of:  
A letter to Saruman explaining that Gandalf escaped to get to the Council meeting, and that as soon as Council business is finished, Elrond will personally take Gandalf to Saruman for him to kill.  
  
**General business**: Elrond, in a spiffy looking purple dress and silver tiara he 'borrowed' off his daughter, stood to speak.  
  
Elrond established the fact that the council has been called to address the issue of the Ring, if misused, is definite to result in certain DOOM.   
  
The melodrama was lost on everyone.  
  
Legolas Greenleaf, son of Thranduil stood and voiced his opinion that he thought they were there to discuss the issue of beauty products being too expensive in Rivendell. He then stated that 3 gold bars for a jar of hair washing liquid is completely ridiculous, and that back in Mirkwood he only had to pay 2 bronze bars.  
  
All members of the Council perked up, as the issue addressed is one relevant to everyone.  
  
Elrond proceeded to tell Legolas to sit down and told off fellow Council members for not paying him any attention.  
  
Elrond re-established the purpose of the Council meeting, and focused on the fact that the Ring is evil, it corrupts, and it must be destroyed to save Middle Earth. He then asked if there were any volunteers for this task.  
  
All the Council members sneaked shifty looks at each other.   
  
There were no volunteers, and Elrond sat down and glared down each Council member one by one.  
  
When Aragorn, son of Arathron could no longer stand the penetrating gaze of his future father in law, he rose and proposed that they discuss this another time, but that proposal was not seconded but is instead disapproved by Boromir.  
  
The dwarf, Gimli son of Gloin was impatient and attempted to destroy the Ring with his axe, but did not graze it and instead ended up with only broken shards of his weapon.  
  
Council members are all surprised (except for the elves, who don't have facial expressions).  
  
After having Elrond stare pointedly at him for a while, Frodo Baggins reluctantly stood up and volunteered to take the Ring and destroy it in the cracks of Mount Doom.  
  
This announcement was met with much rejoicing.  
  
Frodo's Hobbit friends (Sam Gamgee, Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took) were feeling rather guilty that Frodo was going on his own, and therefore volunteered to go with him.  
  
The rest of the Council all felt abashed that small men are about to begin the most perilous journey, and all started volunteering.   
  
In the end, 9 people were selected for the task, along with a donkey named Bill (who had been chosen against his will).  
  
**Business Arising from Minutes & Correspondence**: the Council agrees to make up a name for the 9 people going to Mordor, as so that if they die, they will have a common name people can refer to, instead of having to remember their individual names. In the end the Council decided that The Fellowship of The Ring is an appropriate title for the heroes, and thus from thereon the 9 people will be known as The Fellowship.   
  
**Treasurer's Report**: it was moved by Legolas that Rivendell lowers the price of hair washing liquids, which was seconded by Gandalf. The motion was carried anonymously.  
  
**Closure**: Elrond thanked everyone for attending, but did not set a date for the next Council, as he was too busy celebrating the fact that he wasn't needed to accompany the Fellowship to destroy the Ring.

Disclaimer: Own nothing. Hopes that JRRT will not kill me for defacing his works. 

A/N: Y' know, this was actually an English assignment… yeah. That's all now. Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
